StripSearch

1975-1979

Back home to Mississippi

In a moment of desperation I called Cheryl and told her all that was going on being denied my VA benefits and loosing my apartment.
Her and Jack flew out the next day.

“ You’re moving back to Mississippi with us! “

As bad as I hated the sound of that I knew their was no way to change there minds.

“ Things ain’t like the way they was. “

They both informed me.

“ But I’ve only been gone a decade? How can things change that much? Especially in the south? “

“ You need us! And we miss and need you! “

I was skeptical that they needed me but they obviously missed the girls. They loved children and couldn’t have any of their own so spoiling mine rotten was obviously on their agenda.
At this point the girls were old enough to start school in the fall.
Yeah what better way to start off a life of failure than the public schools in Mississippi?

“ What about my court dates? Don’t I have to be in California to fight for my benefits? “

“ No we can find you a lawyer in Mississippi to help you with that. “

I couldn’t imagine anything good happening to me standing in a Mississippi courtroom.
I mean being a woman and former slave with nothing but 12 old white men sitting in the jury box to determine my fait.

Again Cheryl informs me things ain’t like that no more. They have women and people of all colors on jury’s.

Besides that’s criminal court your problem will just be decided by a judge.

Hearing that didn’t ease my mind much.

“ Deb you have slave tied to your identity you’ll never be able to make it on your own without us or like minded people helping you. “

Cheryl is right on a lot of this having been a slave has a negative stigma to it as we found out trying to get my benefits it can also hinder getting a loan, credit or even a job despite whatever education you get to better yourself.

As I’ve discovered all ready without even realizing it at the time. The only work for former slaves in the sex industry or some slave wage laborious shit that nobody else wants to do.

In a lot of ways it’s like being a felon or on the sex offender list. It’s tied to your identity and you’ll just get doors slammed in your face for your entire life.

“ What am I gonna do? “
I asked Cheryl with wonder.

“ For now you’re gonna live with us. But I promise I will help you get into something that you will be proud of.
We are on the ground floor of big things to come in north Mississippi. “

I knew Cheryl was talking real estate I knew she was a realtor in the Memphis area. But north Mississippi? I just couldn’t imagine what she was talking about.

I almost had Reds car sold. Jack said don’t sell it.
I assumed me letting him have it as a toy might be a trade off for them helping me.

“ The girls will need a car later on I’ll moth ball the car until then. “

“ They’re not even in first grade yet? “
I said arguing that point.

“ Deb it will give them something special to own that was their dads. “
Cheryl said.

“ But he didn’t even get to come home and drive it?”

“ That won’t matter to them. “

So the next day we rented a U-Haul loaded everything we owned or immediately needed and left the rest behind. Jack towed the U-Haul.
Misty and Crystal rode with him while me and Cheryl followed a long way back in my Cadillac.

When we stopped for a rest Crystal ran to me scared to death of Jacks driving. She rode with us the rest of the way.

That night after dinner at a burger joint we checked into a motel Cheryl made sure we got one with joining rooms.
After we all got our showers and some Tv time the girls and I fell asleep.

A few hours later Cheryl shakes me awake. Without saying a word she led me into there room where Jack was waiting.

“ Go on and enjoy. “
She whispered in my ear.

I quickly took off my night shirt and climbed into bed with him.
Cheryl poured herself a drink and sat in the chair watching as her husband fucked me.

His cock was enormous compared to the average man it stretched my walls and felt so tight inside me almost as if I was gonna rip apart.
It hurt but felt so good. I had rolling multiple orgasms.

I heard the click of a lighter and smelt the smell of her cigarette smoke as she continues to watch as we swap positions and I ride Jacks big cock right in front of her.
Without saying it she didn’t mind sharing her hubby with me but there was unspoken rules and lines that’s not to be crossed like sharing is okay as long as she was present.

In other words I was not allowed to seduce her man for myself. Truthfully at the time and for the rest of my life I was pretty much done with relationships. Especially ones that require marriage.
Marriage is to much like ownership I’ve already been owned as a slave and I’ve done been married so basically I’m done with both.

A man’s company for a drink dinner or a date that has sex involved that’s fine but it goes no further than that.
In my life I find myself not trusting men. Now Jack of course I’ll trust to help me with life’s decisions but as far as men are concerned? I’ll just be blunt Men are scum!

When Jacks done using me I thought I was done until Cheryl climbed into bed with us.
She ate Jacks cream pie right out of my cunt. I was then shocked when she crawled up my body kissing me right on the lips and feeding me Jacks cum right out of my cunt.

So I found out Cheryl is secretly bi sexual. Which adds a little something different to our relationship. So yes I found out I can swing both ways also under the right circumstances of course.
But also with women especially I draw the line by not getting myself owned by some chick with tattoos and a shaved head. And thinks she should have been a guy.
Those bitches are crazy and I usually steer clear of them.

After me and Cheryl get each other off another time I excuse myself for another shower and some much needed sleep time.

To get home or to Cheryl and Jacks house the whole trip took three days.
We all were exhausted and slept good that night. While staying with them I made myself useful not only for sex I cooked cleaned, cut the grass took out the trash and did everything I could think of to show my appreciation to them.

We of course went to a lawyer and I stated my case about the benefits I was owed. He seemed optimistic to my disposition. And agreed to help claiming his fee would be paid by the proceeds of me suing the federal government.
I found out that’s the biggest win that a slave can get. And surprisingly even in rural bigoted Mississippi statistics was on my side according to my lawyer.

6 months later we were in court and I got my benefits my life insurance money that I found out was 100k. Yeah that was a neat surprise to me I thought I was rich with all that.
Then of course for a period of time anyway that me and my girls would get heath insurance and something called the GI bill which paid for college courses for me and the girls if they choose that route.

Cheryl quickly jumped at enrolling me into a real estate class at another local community college for that fall.

That didn’t occupy every day on my days not in school I would be what’s called an intern at the company where Cheryl was working.
Meaning pretty much I’m working for free.

Which in a lot of ways resembles slavery.
Maybe a slave in clothes?
But the principal behind an internship is that I learn the job and it will lead to a paying gig so to speak.

Cheryl had other plans for me to now that I had some money of my own.

She insisted that I needed a new modern look. Yeah I learned again tee shirts and bell bottoms ain’t gonna get it in the real estate world.

“ Ever been to a dentist Deb?…Your teeth look horrible! “

No that hasn’t been done and I was scared to death of dentists and what they do.

She made me a Tuesday morning appointment with more of an oral surgeon than a dentist.
So thankfully I was put to sleep. And waking up with a mouth full of pearly white capped teeth.

The next appointment she made me was with a hair dresser.

“ Give her what she needs. “
Was all the direction that Cheryl told her. Which was in that year known widely as the Farrah Fawcett look. Big hair with stylish wings.

Cheryl nodded with approval when I walked out of the salon.
From there it was to the Memphis mall for shopping yeah Cheryl was gonna doll me up again I know I spent a small fortune that day on hair clothes and makeup. But when I zipped up my first tight leather skirt with my silk blouse hosed legs and stiletto heels.

Cheryl was smiling big.

“ That is your look Deb!…That look is gonna do wonders for you. “

As we walked out into the mall among the crowd I heard whistles and noticed men giving me second and third looks.
One unfortunate married man got the taste slapped out of his mouth by his wife of course.

I felt things were changing fast. I was in school and my girls were in school at the same time.
I got conflicting reports about them.
Crystal was excelling in anything the teacher gave her to do while Misty struggled with everything. She also was angry and rebellious.

Every time I got a report that she got a paddling I followed up with a whipping when I got her home. This went on for about a month when I got called up to the school by another teacher that tested Misty saying that she had a learning disability.

And the first thing that came to mind was.

“ Are you telling me my daughter is retarded? “

“ Now Mrs. Jones that’s not what I’m saying! Don’t look at her situation that way. She’s just slow and needs help and I can help her but calling her retarded and whipping her ass every day ain’t gonna help things! “

So I let the teacher put her in a class with a handful of what mostly appeared as handicapped kids. It was what they referred to as a portable classroom that resembled a rusty old mobile home or trailer that was modeled into a classroom.

So now she reports the special Ed with a class full of outcasts and every kid in the school bullies them and calls them retarded.

So now instead of me whipping her ass like a good mother supposed to it’s all the bullies kicking her ass on an almost daily basis.

For a kid back then things ain’t like they are now. If you don’t measure up to everyone else’s standards your called out for it and nobody’s gonna help you. You’re either in the Inn crowd or your trash. That just seemed to be the way that it was.

Not only was I pissed off about this cause it seemed to be the attitude among the teachers that kids learn to deal with this shit on their own.
I know the special Ed teacher says she’s special but nobody but her treats her that way.

Cheryl and Jack was both fed up with this shit. And one evening after dinner Jack took Misty out into the back yard just the two of them. He didn’t tell me what he had planned so I asked Cheryl what they were gonna do.

“ He’s gonna teach her to do what her daddy would do…He’s gonna teach her to fight. “

I was disturbed at what I knew was gonna come. I could see the change in my daughter’s confidence the next morning when she got out of the car with her backpack I saw those little fists clenched up ready to go.

It wasn’t long after noon when I was called up to the school. Apparently when the bully came around to take her lunch she let him have it with an opened can of whip ass.

Yeah it was said that it took 3 teachers to pull her off the little boy. She wasn’t gonna stop. Whatever Jack taught her after dinner that evening lit a fire into her and it changed her entire personality, and probably the direction of her entire life.

Kids and people in general can’t say retarded around Misty it’s referred to as the R word meaning you can’t say it. Sort of like the N word for black folks you don’t get away with that either.

For myself though I found my classes to be challenging and interesting. Not that I thrived in them but I was doing good enough to get by I suppose.
My internship was going much better I learned how to work the office answering the phone with a happy bubbly personality that everyone would love. I learned to talk like a salesman or saleswoman in my case.

Yeah hearing no from a customer or Client was not gonna work. If they had money or credit to buy a home it was my place to find them whatever made them happy.

In the time after gaining my real estate license I discovered especially with men that just the act of sex was the difference between making a sell or disappointing my boss by saying that we lost a client.

I of course would learn from the best which was Cheryl she’d take me with her around Memphis to show homes that was on the market.

One morning she stops in a gun store.

“ What are we doing here? “
I asked curiously.

“ I’m getting an upgrade. “
She said as we walked into the store.

“ What are you upgrading to? “

“ A nine mm. “
Was all she said.

We went into the gun store she looks over several at what they had on display.

From my observation buying a gun is almost like purchasing a slave. Meaning like how the slaves cunt feels around her masters cock.

A gun has to feel right in your hand.
Cheryl was obviously particular about this as I watched her look at and handle about 7 guns.
She kept going back to a Smith and Wesson.

“ I’ll take this one with ammo and four extra clips. “

“ It holds 10 rounds?…Why you need 4 clips? “
I asked her with concern.

“ Cause we going to the rough side of town. “

Hearing that concerned me I never felt scared living in California but I was mostly surrounded by big strong marines and mostly nice people.

In Mississippi I worried about being enslaved but not violent crime being in the Bible Belt it seemed most people was pretty nice most of the time.

Memphis was a mixed bag of adventures it had its swanky upper class subdivisions to the north which were safe and nice places but then their was downtown and west Memphis that seemed more like war zones as time moved on.

In the car I watched Cheryl load up all those clips. From her purse she hands me her chrome snub nose 38 special.

“ Here you go you can have this one. “
I put it into my purse.

“ Crime is one of the main reasons people are moving to Mississippi.
Memphis is a shit hole and good people don’t want to live in a shit hole. “

From there we proceeded on into downtown with our guns. Luckily everything went okay but being women as we are we got to be ready for the unexpected.
Getting gang banged sexually is awesome. Getting gang banged as being robbed raped shot or possibly killed that’s an entirely different matter.

As the decade progresses I saw what Cheryl was envisioning the landscape of north Mississippi was changing what was once rural countryside filled with cotton and cows within a decade would be the sprawling city of what would be known as Southaven.

It was probably barely a year after I’d got into the business as Cheryl acquired this house that she just couldn’t get rid of.
None of the other realtors in the office couldn’t get rid of it either.

She pitched it to me that I should buy it.

From the picture it showed a brick one level house with a carport and detached garage. It also had a swimming pool and 10 acres of woods behind it.

So she drove me over for a look. First thing I noticed was crime scene tape and chalk lines of two dead bodies on the driveway.

“ I see now why it ain’t selling! I thought we were safe here? “

“ We are all the neighbors are nice this supposedly was rumored as a Dixie mafia hit. As you can see those two are dead and the owners are out of state and motivated to sell it cheap. “

We go inside it of course was built in the 50’s it was small one bathroom outside laundry room in the carport. It had wood paneling and hardwood floors popcorn ceilings.
And three small bedrooms.
Of course it’s old and still partially furnished with old appliances and furniture.

We go outside to the pool which desperately needed cleaned up and worked.

“ I can see you in this house Deb….You’ll be the hottest mom on the block with this pool. “

There she was putting that slick sales talk on me.

And truthfully I was falling in love with it.

I stepped off the concrete and slipped my high heeled shoe off running my hosed foot through the grass.

“ It feels good to the feet. What kind of grass is this?”

“ I think it’s Bermuda but you got a mixture of grasses around mostly I think St Augustine mixed with centipede the Bermuda is just around this pool area. “

“ How much? “
I asked without sounding to anxious.

“ Just make an offer I think you can get it for less than 100k. “

I looked up at the giant pine trees behind the place.

“ The fucking timber is worth more than 100k. What’s wrong with this place? “

“ Nothing Deb I’ll put a bid in for 70k maybe they’ll take it? “

That’s not a deal it’s a steal. But we all know the saying that if it sounds to good to be true it’s probably wrong in some way or another.

After moving in and fixing it up we noticed that things went on during the night usually around 3:15 in the morning cabinet doors started opening and slamming shut. Doors and windows started locking and unlocking themselves.
Some nights I’d hear chains clanging I knew that sound well sometimes I’d hear a woman scream into the night.

So yes the house is haunted. Misty later on gets into this paranormal shit. She believes it’s tied to the land. Both her and Crystal have seen ghosts of what they believe are slaves from the past.
After further research we discovered the house is built on top of a slave graveyard.

As I write this from my mother in-laws personal diaries and journals I stumbled across a few interesting rants that seem pretty entertaining during whatever challenges life was throwing at her at the time. Here is one of them.

Good and evil The power struggle of the Deep South.

June 1981

As I walk this narrow path of life to make a living for myself and my children as a single mom and an entrepreneur.
I discovered my true quest in life is to rid the Delta of the cotton plant and replace it with a monstrosity of thriving businesses and homes I want to make Mississippi a place where people will want to come and live.

But almost on at least a weakly basis I find myself in conflict with two entities that constantly get in my way.
One unfortunately is the church or shall I say churches. Being that there is so many different ones. I don’t mean to speak I’ll of the church they do lots of good and have a wealth of influence on people.

My problem is is that whenever a piece of commercial property comes available a church buys it up then sits on it forever.

How am I supposed to build and develop land for people if the church buys everything up?

I mean go to any small town in the south and look a church will take up an entire city block.
I mean really? Do they need that?

The other entity that constantly annoys me is the slave industry.

I mean I just got this nice family friendly subdivision going and the city council approved that a brothel can be opened right outside the entrance of my subdivision!

I’m truly not against the slave girls but something needs to be done! There should be some codes or laws! I got to follow all kinds of codes when I build things and they are allowed to open up any kind of sleazy dump imaginable as long as it’s got sex in it anything goes!

At one time that shit stayed on the strip of sin now anywhere is a sin stop.

It seems as if the churches and slave industry competes to starve out everyone else and I’m tired of it!

Rant #2

October 1992

Traffic report on the radio announced an overturned slave truck at the junction of I-55 and I-20 all south bound traffic was stopped.

Shit Fucking slave truck! When is somebody gonna slow them trucks down? There should be a law! Wait a minute I am the law. I’ll just write this down on a sticky note and bring it up on the floor later.

Jackson this shit always happens when I go to Jackson! They need to move the fucking capital to the delta! I’m getting tired of this fucking drive!

I mean I really took a pay cut to do this shit! A measly 129 k a year is all that the people of Mississippi can afford to pay me! I’m having to use my own car and drive myself.
And I got the weight of the entire state on my shoulders! When is the rest of them fucking bums in Jackson gonna start doing something that helps me?

Traffic loosens up the overturned slave truck is now upright with all the slave girls standing around looking like a bunch of idiots.

I got to make a note of this.
That slave brain shit we’re bringing in from China is working like a charm. Reminds me of a wrecked chicken truck they just stand around waiting to get caught.

Long sigh.

You know? I’m wondering if I say something nice about Nancy on the news if maybe she could get her husband Paul to hook me up with some of those hedge funds?

Can’t you just feel the hypocrisy in our state representative in that?

Back to the story.

Cheryl was right about lots of things changing. But some things stayed the same.
On one side of the towns square the department of agriculture stood dominant just the same as it always had. Directly across facing the historical old courthouse.

The courthouse and slave office work hand in hand together.
Ain’t nothing like seeing a convicted woman in cuffs taking a walk across the square to the slave office for processing.

She might walk in wearing her Sunday best but will be shipped out slave naked and collard.

They still bring the slaves out throughout the year for festive occasions you can see the pony girls giving rides around the square.

You’ll also see slave girls polishing the statuary sweeping the sidewalks and weeding the gardens.

I’m always entertained by the idiot girls that go in there by choice to sign there lives away.

For myself being a runaway fugitive slave I find myself blending in with everyone else. Despite that my teenage black and white freckle faced wanted poster still is on the bulletin board in the lobby of the slave office. I’m never questioned about any of it.

Over the course of the late 70’s I find my groove in the real estate business with Cheryl being my mentor.
Me and my girls do everything that families do. Mainly for them it’s going to school for me it’s going to work.

For socializing I find myself going to this old little bar just outside of town called The Fuzzy Duck Lounge. It’s got this giant yellow rubber duck that’s lit up in neon lights.
I find the patrons inside which is usually a group of losers like myself as far as love goes.
This is primarily my place to drink and have some degree of fun. It has a jukebox that plays real country music not that new country shit they play today they play the old stuff.
They also got a live band that plays on Friday and Saturday nights.

But it’s not the only place.

Down the road is the Hopping Frog club.
This caters more towards the younger crowd. It’s all about rock and roll for them.
Which normally ain’t my thing but when I need a good fuck from a young stud I can usually find one there that doesn’t have strings attached.

As I said before I don’t need a clingy man falling in love with me I just want to fuck!

Then of course when I’m real depressed I’ll go to Joes place to listen to the blues.
Being a white woman I might be out of place there but they seem friendly taking my money and leaving me alone with my drink.
I always tip the musician by dropping a ten or twenty dollar bill into his guitar case before I leave.

Like everyone else in town we started meeting up with Cheryl and Jack on Sunday mornings at the big church that I’ll later on rant so much about. Everyone that’s anyone in town goes to church it’s just something that’s expected out of you.

I’ll glance around and see the same people I got drunk with just hours before. I’ll spot the bookies and gamblers where you can place your bets for whatever sporting events are on at the time.

I might see the Married man that fucked me the night before last with his stunningly beautiful wife and family.

Then there is the slave barons along with the handlers and wranglers that work from the slave office sitting in the pew directly behind me.
Yeah that sends a chill straight up my spine especially when one of them leans forward breathing down my neck whispering in my ear telling me how hot I am.

Yeah now that’s a real struggle dealing with all that in church.

This particular church had everything for the kids and all. But after a few months Crystal comes to me and says.

“ Mom I want to try a different church. “

So okay we started church shopping.
There of course is The First second and third Baptist churches. Not really but it seems that way. Then there is the Catholic Church then the Church of God and Church of Christ.

These scared Misty she’d only go with Cheryl and Jack after that.

Crystal was critical of all the churches and found fault in them all. I was truly surprised at someone of her youth to be so critical.
Over a course of a year we explored every church around except one.

That would be the one I’d gone to when I was a girl of her age.

It was way out into the country I was now driving a Cadillac on the same red dirt road I’d walked as a barefoot naked slave girl with mud stuck between my toes.

I drove up into the yard surprised it was still there. It was only the two of us along with the dead that lay in the graveyard next to it.

The door was unlocked and open.

“ This is a real church! “
Crystal says impressed to see the doors open. Inside there was no electricity no running water uncomfortable oak pews with solid wood floor. In the back was an area set aside for the slaves to kneel. The chains and metal collars that bolted around your neck was still there.

I remember being there real well.

We go outside to walk about out by the woods line was two outhouses one for men one for women. Remembering back slaves all went to the woods.
A short distance down a trail led to the creek where baptisms took place.

Then against the back of the church house something was covered up.

“ Mom what is that? “
Crystal asks with interest.

I knew what was there but instead of telling her I was gonna show her. We walk over to it I take hold of the tarp lifting it up to reveal a large cage of rattlesnakes.
Crystal didn’t jump but her eyes grew wide at what she was looking at.

“ These are the serpents. “
I said resting my hand comfortably showing no fear of them on top of the mesh cage while looking straight at my daughter.

“ You’ve red your Bible you know what the serpent represents?…Right? “

“ Yes momma. “

“ You know you never touch the serpent unless you’re in the feeling and you’ll know it when you feel it?…Right? “

“ Yes momma. “

I pointed towards the grave yard.

“ Many of them that lay in there graves wasn’t in the feeling when they took the serpent. “

Crystal nods understanding what I was explaining.

From out of nowhere I heard a familiar voice.

“ Deborah is that you? “

“ Bob?…You recognize me? “

“ Deb I would know you anywhere. “

“ It’s been so long! “

“ That it has what’s brought you out here? “

I pointed down to my daughter.

“ This is Crystal she’s been exploring churches and her search has led us here. “

Bob knelt down to her level and talked to her. And seemed thrilled to meet her.

One by one cars started pulling up and parking. Some walked many recognized and remembered me and my family.

About 9:00 we all went inside. Bob was around my age his grandfather was the preacher back when I was a girl now he was the preacher.

Bob preached about the same thing every Sunday he preached about Hell and how you don’t want to go there.

Though the church had a fire place for heat in the winter none was ever needed cause when he finished with you you was a hot sweaty mess. And of course people went into the feeling many started speaking in tongues.
I watched it happen to Crystal for the first time after a month of attending there.

And like I once did I watched her take and handle the serpent in a moment of joyful innocence.
I never had the desire to take the serpent again for myself. I recon I’m to far gone with sinful wickedness in my life to be redeemed enough to have that courage.

This was an important moment in Crystals life and as a mother I’m thankful to see her experience it.