Page 1 of 1

Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2020 7:30 pm
by katamaran789
Here is part two of Marie's first adventure into slavery. Not much has happened so far but my mind is practically buzzing with ideas. I added some of the reference images I used or made while writing the story with the (ref) link so that those that just want to read the story on its own dont have it interrupted by the images.

_________________________________________________________________________________


Marie's Slavery Adventures Part two

Marie looked at her phone. (Ref.) She still had some time before the manager would return and went to get some coffee at the local café that was inside the mall. She noticed the waiter ogling at her collar, but he didn't say anything. After sitting down waiting for her coffee she started thinking about what happened. She realized that she stumbled upon a rabbit hole of intense feelings and desires and despite it being extremely exciting she decided to be more careful from now on. That didn't stop her from inspecting the box Sandra gave to her though. It seemed to be aimed at single girls living alone that were interested in slavery so that they could try out the 'lifestyle' on their own. "I'm not sure if calling it a lifestyle is fitting" Marie thought. On the front it featured a kneeling nude girl with a metal collar around her neck. (Ref.) The Box was made by a company called 'Straw Girls Corp' which had as a logo the symbols for females connected with an iron chain. (Ref.)

The boxes contents listed as the following:
Introduction to Slavery and basic self-Slave Training (a DVD),
Self-Slave Conditioning by Mistress Kotori (another DVD),
Slave Yoga Courses for your own 4 walls (also a DVD),
A training collar (whatever that meant),
A leash,
A set of cuffs,
And a couple of brochures and government guidebooks.

The waiter that noticed Marie's collar a few moments earlier returned with her coffee and saw Marie studying the box. "If you're interested in slavery, I happen to know a guy who can get you graded and some training for a good price," he exclaimed in a polite, matter of fact kind of way.

Marie hurriedly put the box back into her bag and with a hand on her collar she replied "No, Thank you, I'm fine. By the way would you happen to know where I can get this collar removed? I was supposed to get a visitors collar, but they only had real ones" she said showing the plastic tag. "And it seems to be locked shut."

"You should ask at the reception close to the main entrance. But I don't know if it is staffed today with the convention and all." he said putting down Marie's coffee.

As tomorrow was going to be a Sunday, she realized that she might have to stay in this collar until Monday! There was no way she would show up to work in a slave collar so she already thought about reasons to call in sick to be able to go to the mall to get it removed. She made a mental note to take Anna along or her friend Sarah the next time she had to deal with slavery. In order to prevent getting mistaken for a slave, tied up or molested again she decided to just spend the remaining time checking some emails on her phone. She chuckled at the thought that she would get paid for the time she spent tied up in a Sex Shop.

After the short break she could feel her limbs relaxing and her mind clearing. It was time to head back to the Slave Store and finish her business. By now there were notably more people in the mall. Most of them regular free people checking out the stands, ogling at the slaves on display or those being led around by their owners. At this point Marie got used to the sight and didn't pay much attention and just tried to make her way through the crowd towards the slave shop.

One stand however caught her eyes: 'Geralds Ponygirls'. Next to it stood four girls almost identical in height, with perfect postures and toned slender bodies. Obviously, they were nude except for the leather strap harness encasing their body, the tall leather collars around their neck and the bridle gag head harness. Their arms were folded behind their backs and a rather solid looking belt was locked around their waists. That must be where the cart gets connected Marie thought. Obviously their feet were locked in knee high leather boots with hooves. (Ref.) She had heard of ponygirl slaves of course. It was something unique to the UK out of all the countries that legalized slavery. It had been a 'sport' for nobles to take village girls and train them as ponies for centuries. In the years before slavery was legalized there were only a few people left keeping the tradition alive on their most rural estates, only holding small events in secret. Recently though the 'sport' had increased in popularity and trained ponygirl slaves were amongst the most expensive slaves with well performing ponygirls being famous like other sport celebrities. And rightfully so. The four girls emitted a sense of grace, the female body sculpted to perfection, Marie thought to herself.

It was hard, but Marie managed to stop staring and move on towards the Slave shop. The shop was packed with people and Marie soon found out why. A slave naked girl was on her knees sitting on a small machine that emitted a quiet buzzing noise. She wore a steel collar, a steel belt around her waist and steel cuffs around her hands and ankles. The restraints were connected to two metal poles, one vertical and one horizontal, that formed a small cross. The chains didn't give her much room to wiggle and forced her upper body in an upright position while her pussy was stimulated by the vibrator. (Ref.) She was surrounded by a group of men and a few women ogling her. Most men had notable bulges in their pants and some of the women made derogatory comments towards her. "She's in a perfect position to give out blowjobs" Marie thought, and as If someone could read her mind a man stepped forwards, unzipped his pants and shoved his dick into the poor girl's mouth as the crowd cheered him on.

"Hey stop that! You gotta pay for that first!" the receptionist from earlier shouted out as he rushed towards the man.

Looking over to her Marie noticed a man with a small tag reading 'manager' leaning on a wall with his arms crossed and a smile on his face. Marie walked over to him showing him the tag on her collar and explained what she was here for. The manager chuckled at Marie wearing a slave collar and asked her to follow him into a small office behind the counter. Once inside the back office Marie checked the enslavement papers and found out more about the girls and how they ended up enslaved. All of them were students at the local university in their first terms. Since they all came from Germany, they quickly became friends. It was in the Slave Psychology class where they developed an interest in Slavery and according to the report all of them volunteered to be slave graded when the class visited the 'York Slave School'. After the grading they all signed their enslavement papers and were sent off to Sam the Slaveman to be sold.

Everything seemed to be in order. Marie could have been finished right here but something made her hesitate. In between them getting graded and signing their papers four days had passed during which they were held at the 'York Slave School'. That wasn't irregular but Marie thought she should make sure the girls weren't pushed into signing.

"I want to see the girls to get some additional verbal approval." Marie said.

"They're in the slave pens," the manager replied.

"Is that a problem?"

"You'd have to go slave naked" he said with the hint of a grin on his face.

"Even as a government official?" Marie asked, holding up the plastic tag on her collar.

"You're not really a government official. Not of my government anyway. It's the law for females to be naked in the slave pens and on top of that it would disrupt their training to see a collared girl in clothes walking about."

Marie considered for a moment. Then she put her bag on a nearby chair and lifted her dress up above her head, revealing her curvy body in her plain underwear. She started unbuckling her bra when she hesitated again.

"Nothing I haven't seen before" the manager reassured her.

Still considering if this was a good idea Marie undid her bra and tried to cover her breasts with her arm while stepping out of her shoes. She then quickly pulled down her panties so she could put her other hand above her crotch and now stood completely naked in front of the manager. Completely naked except for her slave collar of course.

The manager, obviously amused at Marie's efforts to preserve her modesty, told her to follow him through another door. Luckily for Marie they could reach the slave pens without her having to walk slave naked through the main area of the shop. The slave pens were half a dozen larger cages or cells with three to four naked women in each of them. The manager led Marie to one of them and ordered them to stand up. He then said, "All yours Miss" and left Marie alone with the four slave girls. The girls were a bit nervous, but they didn't seem distressed. Marie asked them in German if they were the girls she was looking for and when they didn't reply she looked over to the manager who was standing at the other end of the room.

"They have been devoiced. They can't talk for the rest of the day. Just ask them to nod or shake their heads.”

Marie asked them one by one if they knowingly and willingly signed their enslavement papers and all but one nodded instantly. The last girl hesitated but when the girl next to her pushed her elbow into her side she also nodded though less enthusiastically than the others. "Well, nothing i can do here" Marie thought and signaled to the manager that she was done. He then took her back into the office, when they returned they found a janitor cleaning and wiping the floor.

Marie, deeply embarrassed at yet another person seeing her slave naked, asked with a meeker voice than she intended "Where are my clothes?"

The manager looked over to the janitor who apologized "I'm sorry Miss, first thing I do when I
start cleaning the office, I take any clothes and put them in the washer. Usually the girls that come in here stay for at least a couple of hours."

"We always put the clothes of the girls being graded into the washer" the manager said, "it's an honest mistake really."

"What am I supposed to wear then?" Marie said worriedly. Her clothes felt like the only thing standing between her and slavery when she was walking through a slave convention with a slave collar locked around her neck.

"Well you can wait for the clothes to be washed and dried" the manager said. And when he saw hints of discomfort in Marie’s eyes he continued: "or I can give you something else to wear... Free of charge of course. And we will send your clothes to your address once they're cleaned."

He reached for something behind the office desk and handed Marie a piece of cloth that turned out to be a white linen dress. Marie didn’t bother asking for underwear and pulled the dress above her head and tried to wiggle into it. She had to wiggle because the dress was clearly too small for her. When she finally managed to pull it all the way down she shivered at the thought of the show she must have just given the two men. The dress was noticeably short and did nothing to hide her curvy body as her breasts pushed against the fabric. Two thin linen straps held it in place just above her nipples and two V-shaped cuts on the sides revealed a lot of side boob as Marie had a lot of that to reveal. Worst of it all on the front of the dress it said 'Slave' and 'Property of Sam the Slaveman'. (Ref.)

"Ehh, don’t worry about that writing" the manager said nervously. He then made a motion towards the paper-work Marie needed to sign "if you would be so kind to sign it so we can proceed"

Marie signed the papers and put copies of everything in her bag, which luckily was still there. She then entered her address and name into a nearby computer as the manager requested, so they could return her clothes to her.

"Since you gave us your address already, do you want to sign up for our newsletter? We would inform you about special offers, sales and such" the manager then said.

"Yes, thank you" Marie said, not sure why she would thank the manager after they made her wear a degrading slave dress.

Entering the general area of the shop again the scene had changed drastically. Instead of a wild crowd of men and women, there were now only men in an orderly queue towards the end of the room where the restrained slave from earlier was still kneeling with the vibrator still buzzing away. However next to her the receptionist sat on her knees, her arms seemingly tied behind her back also servicing the man with great enthusiasm.

"Ah, shit" the manager muttered and then shouted, "Alright everybody that’s enough, leave them be!".

An outcry by the men still in the queue followed and they started arguing with the manager. Someone grabbed Marie who tried to quietly leave the shop and said: "Look here is another one!" as he dragged her towards the two restrained girls. Marie tried to escape the man’s grasp as the manager shouted, this time clearly angry at the disorder "Leave her be or you will get banned from the shop!" With the man distracted she managed to pull free. A few more hands moved in her direction trying to grab her, but Marie managed to slip away and out of the shop.

Finally, outside the shop she only needed to get this damned collar off and then take a taxi home. There was no way she was getting on a bus in her current condition. The waiter at the café mentioned the mall reception being near the entrance so it couldn't be far from where she is. She kept her head down to avoid eye contact as she made her way towards the main entrance. For every bystander she must have looked like a regular slave in a slave dress with a slave collar avoiding eye contact with free people like a slave should. Finally, at the reception counter she rang a bell and hoped that it wasn't going to be Frank who was coming to answer it. It wasn't Frank. Instead it was a cheerful young girl in her mid-twenties and black hair in a ponytail. She also wore the uniform of the mall, similar to Franks, except that the female version was much better looking.

She looked at Marie with a puzzled expression: "Can I help you?"

"Yes, Hello Miss. My name is Marie. I am from the German consulate, here to verify some enslavement papers. Your co-worker, his name is Frank I think, put this collar on me and I'd like it removed as I'm done with what I came here for." Marie explained. She meant to show the girl the plastic tag that said 'government official' to verify her story but to her shock and surprise it was gone! Someone must have ripped it off during the commotion in the slave store!

"I.. I had this tag Frank put on here.." Marie started to stutter "it must have been ripped off".

"That sure sounds like Frank. But I'm afraid you will have to come with me for now, so we can get this checked out. Right now, you look like a runaway slave trying to escape and management would have my ass if I just let you go." She said and grabbed Marie by her arm trying to pull her behind the counter.

Seeing that Marie didn't want to go she said, "Look, relax. You told me your name so I'm gonna tell you mine. I'm Emmy, nice to meet you. Now please come along so we can verify your story or get you back to your owner okay?"

Marie relaxed noticeably and agreed to be led by Emmy into the area behind the reception counter. First thing she noticed was a small cage, probably a dog cage, and in it a redheaded slavegirl in only a slave collar. The cage was wide enough for about two to three slaves to sit or kneel in.

"Alright Marie, 'back bracelets’," Emmy ordered. Marie didn't know what that meant so Emmy explained "Turn around and put your hands together.” Then seeing Marie trying to put her bag on a nearby chair, “Let me take that.” Marie then did as she was told and before she knew what happened Emmy locked a pair of handcuffs around her wrists.

"Okay, turn around again" Emmy said and as Marie complied, she pulled down Marie’s slave dress which practically made her tits bounce out. She then held a device on her left tit and said "Weird, I can’t get a reading."

"Sorry, I'm not chipped! Please just look at my ID, it's in my bag and will verify my story".

Emmy didn't seem convinced. She unlocked the cage door and motioned the slave to move over and then said "Get in there so I can sort this out," to Marie. Marie wasn't sure how she would manage with her hands tied but seeing Emmy's impatient look she complied and awkwardly moved into the cage. With her hands tied behind her back and the awkward motion required to crawl into the cage the straps holding her dress slipped off leaving her topless once again as she finally managed to get into the cage. Emmy then closed and locked the cage door and started to rummage through Marie's bag.

She found Marie's ID and Consulate pass but to Marie’s dismay said, "I can't verify if this stuff is legit. I will have to call the German consulate and ask them to send someone over to verify your identity."

And before Marie could complain Emmy was off to the reception counter. Fuck. What a fucking day it has been. Marie sighed. She muttered a short prayer that today, at this time wasn’t one of the few times her Boss, Frau Albrecht, was in the mood to pick up calls instead of letting Anna do it. In a moment of mild panic, she tried to somehow move her slave dress above her exposed breasts but with her hands behind her back that wasn't going to happen. The cage wasn't very big, so she bumped into her cellmate a few times trying to cover her breasts. She looked at the girl next to her and awkwardly gestured with her chest and asked, "Could you help me with this?"

The girl looked at Marie and replied, "No sister, I don't want to get punished."

Marie knew from television that slaves called each other 'sister' so she replied, "I'm not a slave, this is all just one big misunderstanding!"

With a look of disbelief the redheaded slave girl said "If you say so, sister..."

Before Marie could say anything else, Emmy came back exclaiming, "You're in luck! A mrs… Albrick? Albricht? Or something is coming over to verify your status. She said she would be here in about 30 minutes so just hang in there."

Marie's heart dropped and she leaned backwards towards the cages wall. (Ref.) Frau Albrecht wouldn't be pleased that she has to drive down here because Marie screwed up. Not to mention that Marie wasn't very keen on being semi-naked in front of her boss. At least it would soon be over. For real this time.

"Looks like I'm getting out of here soon," Marie said to the slave girl and then asked. "What’s your name?"

"I'm slave Lizz 460 344 1 32. I used to be called Elisabeth but nowadays it's usually just 32. Are you sure you want to get out? If you let yourself get into this situation you should probably accept slavery."

Marie laughed saying "Maybe.” She felt more at ease with her situation, considering that she couldn't change anything about it anyway. 32 now also smiled for the first time since Marie saw her. The two could quickly feel a friendly relation building between them. Marie asked her how she ended up here and about her life as a slave in general. Part of it was out of honest interest but also because she knew there was no way Frau Albrecht would make it down here in just half an hour so Marie had some time to kill. 32 explained that her former owner dropped her off at the reception while he was checking out the convention. He took her along to sell her on the block later in the evening. Marie was shocked but 32 continued like it was no big deal. Her current owner used to be her boyfriend a few months ago before he talked her into enslaving herself to him. Back then 32 found the thought terribly romantic but by now she had adjusted so well to the life of slavery that she didn't even mind the love of her life selling her to the highest bidder. Marie told 32 about the day she’d had and they both laughed about how exciting and stressful it was to be in an environment where everyone wants to undress and enslave you.

After a while Marie heard a familiar voice. Frau Albrecht was talking to Emmy and anticipating her release she asked 32: "Is there any way I can get in touch with you?"

"Maybe... You can ask at 'Sam the Slaveman' who my new owner is after the auction. Perhaps he will let you visit," 32 replied.

Marie promised that she would do that and went in for a good-bye hug that turned out to be rather one sided since Marie’s hands were still locked in handcuffs. Right at that moment Frau Albrecht came into view and to Marie's surprise she didn't look angry or annoyed but rather amused.

"My, My… Quite the mess you got yourself into" she said in German, looking at Marie and not even trying to avert looking at her subordinates blatant partial nudity. "Did you at least manage to do what you came here for?"

Marie however couldn't look her boss in the eyes and looking down she said, "Yes Frau Albrecht."

"Alright then let’s get you out of that cage and I will drive you home," Frau Albrecht said as Emmy started unlocking the cage door.

Marie awkwardly crawled out of the cage and as she was about to stand up Emmy said: "Wait, stay on your knees so I can unlock your collar." Marie complied, kneeling topless with her hands cuffed behind her back, in front of her smirking boss and a perfect stranger she'd just met. But to be honest, after the day she had she's almost gotten used to it.

"Get up," Emmy ordered after unlocking the collar and then "back bracelet". Marie understood this time and obediently turned around. With her hands finally free she could pull her dress back up, get her bag and leave the shopping mall together with Frau Albrecht waving goodbye to 32 still in her cage. (Ref.) What followed was a lecture by Frau Albrecht about how it was part of her job to be accustomed to local norms and traditions and that as a woman in this place she needed to be more assertive to the people trying to take advantage of oneself. Marie didn't say much. She was still terribly embarrassed that her boss saw her in this outfit and on top of that she was topless just a minute ago but she was very relieved that Frau Albrecht wasn't angry wiht her.

When they got to Frau Albrecht's car she said, "Wait a minute, Marie. You look absolutely amazing in that dress. It looked even better with the collar but nonetheless, I simply must take a few pictures. Do you mind?"

Marie did mind. But she did mind a lot of things that happened to her today anyway so she agreed to pose. A couple of pictures from the front, a few from the back which lead to some sexy posing and then finally Frau Albrecht seemed to be done.

"Great. Just wonderful. Thank you dear. Don't worry I will send them to you later."

On the ride home Frau Albrecht acted like nothing out of the ordinary happened. She talked about work, recent changes in politics and upcoming events. "See you on Monday" she said as she dropped Marie off at her apartment building and drove off. Finally home and alone she slammed the door behind her, not even bother taking off her Slave Dress Marie dropped to her knees and started masturbating. It didn’t take her long to reach a quivering orgasm so intense that she collapsed and could feel herself dozing off right there on the floor.

After a short nap she looked at her clock: 3:58 PM. The auction would start soon. She couldn’t help imagining 32 being led on the block and the thought got her horny again.

This was going to be a long day.
_________________________________________________________________________________

END OF PART TWO

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2020 1:03 am
by Survivor29
I wasn't expecting you to post part 2 so soon, but glad you did!

Great part 2! I really like the up and down of it all. The close calls and the escapes. Really good.

I also really like how you get her gullible/submissive character down. For example, that last part was great. Right after her boss is done lecturing her about being assertive, she then takes embarrassing pictures of Marie which Marie just passively accepts.

Well done!

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2020 3:31 am
by gary
Loved this part, and as you may know from my stories I do like it when the heroine gets in trouble with slavery, but gets out again. Looking forward to more adventures. Liked that you have links to pictures.
Do you have a plan for whats going to happen next? For myself I usually have a basic plan, but then the story takes on a life of its own.

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2020 5:20 am
by katamaran789
@Gary, I don't really have a plan. The first story basicly wrote itself.. I have a list of all the characters that have appeared so far and a few ideas of possible interactions. I really like the idea of the Slave Shop receptionist (no name yet) over eargerly trying to get girls to enslave themselves and put them into awkward situations just to end up besides them (kinda what i always hoped would happen co carol :P) I will think of some basic plan of whats going to happen but still let the stories develop on their own.

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2020 6:26 am
by orflash64
A few wrong words here and there. So far for a story with no sex yet it's pretty exciting.
I look forward to more adventures for her. Maybe her boss may have ideas for Marie to fill a need with certain diplomats looking for a slave that speaks German, even if it's just for a night. :idea:

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2020 6:29 am
by katamaran789
@orflash64 I haven't thought about that yet, but that would be a very good reason why Frau Albrecht took pictures of Marie in her slave Dress wouldn't it :D Thanks for the suggestion

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2020 2:35 pm
by Scman493
Excellent premise for a story. I am enjoying the character development and the slowly growing urges within our heroine as well as her inability to avoid succumbing to them.

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2020 11:26 pm
by orflash64
Another possibility could be Frau Albrecht decides to assign more slave cases to Marie, knowing how submissive she is and the chance of her getting drawn into situations with slavery just for Frau Albrecht's amusement.
Marie could get collared again like before and lose her clothes and is given slave clothes, but a different type. Fetish wear was only thing available - leather back mini-skirt that laces up both sides revealing that she wears no panties. A tiny leather halter top that really shows off her breasts. Marie is called back to the consulate for something urgent before she can get the collar off and her clothes back.
She has to work dressed like a hooker slave and everyone sees her including the Ambassador. He actually likes it and considers having her dressed like that often.
A British Official is there and complements the German Ambassador for his staff embracing the British lifestyle.
Marie now has to get use to working in a very short mini-skirt and no panties or bra.

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2020 2:52 am
by GreyRose
I really like the way your story is going, lots of potential elements here. It looks like she's thinking about returning to the mall, perhaps to see 32's auction. Unconsciously maybe to see what else can happen to her. Does she meet with 32 again later and does that lead her into any new adventures?

Your creation of the slave kit she was given, there's interesting possibilities there. She could play with the practice collar and cuffs while watching the DVD and that gets her in a mood. Does she expose herself on the balcony wearing the collar? Maybe she orders some delivery and answers the door dressed like a slave? Does she drape a blanket over a table to create a slave cage, that she sleeps in wearing the collar?

Orflash has some interesting ideas about the Embassy. What happens if the photos of Marie in the slave dress are seen by others, what if she's asked to model it for others at the office? Maybe as a cultural acclimatization Marie is asked to demonstrate other slave gear such as cages and cuffs, etc...

I'm eager to see where next you take your story.

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2020 4:21 am
by gary
Do you have any idea when you will post the next part?

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2020 6:44 am
by katamaran789
@orflash64 Frau Albrecht doesn't really like Slavery. But shes an opportunistic woman and seeing Marie in that dress and in that cage gave her ideas. Something featuring an ambassedor and some lobbyists. I need some other things to develop before I can kick off that plot though I think.

@greyrose 32 will make an apperance again in the next Part. An idea I have is to have Marie make use of the slave kit during a 'quarantine' like situation ( I mean, that's what made me write this story after all :lol: ). That could also lead to something like Marie being bumped up to advances classes if she ever gets slave training as she'd already know the basics. But for the moment I only have loose ideas and the story kinda writes itself so no promises.

I'm a bit worried that I might not be able to keep things consistent and believable but I'll try. Constructive critisism, feedback, suggestions and questioning the logic of my stories are very very welcome.

@Gary Not really. I will try to finish it before the weekend and if I can't it'll come out at some point next week.

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2020 9:55 am
by Hooked6
Just like to add that I too LOVE Frau Albrecht. The fact that she immediately seizes on the opportunity to take advantage of Marie is so arousing. I suspect that she, as you have indicated, isn't really into slavery per se. She DOES however seem to harbor erotic feelings seeing someone helpless and embarrassed. In her position at the embassy she is already in a position of power and influence in her profession. Marie's situation at the mall has awakened in Frau Albrecht feelings deep within her taking her love of power to a whole new level!

I sincerely hope that she explores and takes advantage of opportunities to further manipulate and embarrass Marie - especially in front of her peers!

Hooked6

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2020 9:56 am
by Survivor29
If you are taking feedback and suggestions then let me just try to provide a little. I will try to identify what I liked best, why, and if I can think of anything good, hopefully a helpful suggestion or two.

1) The security guard collaring Marie. This was great because of how it led into everything and tied back so well, especially when it turned out to be completely unnecessary, but also was just great in of itself because of how it was done with such casual bureaucratic force. Marie was too focused on following the rules to avoid getting herself collared.
2) The slave shop receptionist assuming Marie is a slave. It was great how she didn't even wait for Marie to respond before she starts trying to strip her and then ignores Marie talking at first.
3) Sandra attaching a leash to Marie's collar and then locking her to the wall. Just an excellent visual. Confined, out of the way, but actually completely in public.
4) The slave shop not returning Marie's clothes. A classic trope and with good reason, but you gave it an interesting twist with them using it as a method to get her personal information!
5) The receptionist detains Marie to confirm her identity. She is only concerned with the possibility that Marie is a runaway slave. All the interactions like this really help to show where the mainstream attitudes are and even how submissive Marie is.

One of the things that makes a story like this so good is the world building. Not just what happens to Marie, but what happens around her and how others behave. With that in mind, here is my suggestion: Of course, some time soon Marie will be stripped out of her clothes again for some trivial or unnecessary reason. Maybe she has a medical or maybe she is just clothes shopping and the shop girl insists on accurately measuring her. Marie gets temporarily devoiced (personally I prefer temporary devoicing over permanent and I like the idea that it's something you just spray in a girl's mouth) and can't explain who she is when she is inevitably collared and cuffed again. Perhaps a young man, thinking she is a slave, has some fun with her, but eventually her voice returns and she is able to explain herself and she is let go, but they have already disposed of her clothes. The young man apologises for his mistake and offers to get her something to wear and Marie gratefully accepts his offer thinking that he will buy her something to wear. But to her surprise, he grabs the nearest girl, quickly questioning her to confirm she is an English girl, and then strips her out of her clothes. He gives the English girl's clothes to Marie and takes the English girl as his replacement slave.

I don't know if that makes sense, but the main part of the idea is just that Marie is given the clothes of another girl rather than having her own clothes returned and, if not Marie, then some girl will be enslaved!

Also, some questions you could address in the future:

How are the rights of free women being affected by slavery? For example, is there a push to reduce female property rights? Are slaves not allowed to wear shoes? If so, does that result in shoes being something of a status symbol for free women? And is being barefoot in public becoming considered one of the "slave-like" behaviours of free women? What about female police? Do people think female police shouldn't have power over men? And what about female teachers? Do people think female teachers shouldn't have power over boys? How much is law? How much is just social norms?

If anyone else can think of interesting ways that Modern Slavery would affect life I think that might be helpful for thinking of ideas.

But honestly, I'm just here because I am impatient for part 3! Already doing a great job.

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2020 6:38 pm
by orflash64
New Marie photo album.
:tiphat:

Re: Marie's Slavery Adventures Pt. 2

Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2020 6:43 am
by katamaran789
Updated with greyrose's editing. Proofreading is generally done after publishing the story, right? :lol: :lol:

I will try to have Pt. 4 more polished before publishing it