Heartland Update
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 1:08 am
I haven't been writing at all, since writing doesn't come naturally to me. But I thought that editing my Heartland Slave Grading story would help me get back to writing. This makes me read the story closely and get reacquainted with it. Most of the edits have been minor: changing words and rearranging sentences.
However there have been a moderate and a major change.
It started with Chapter/Part Two: Amy First Visit to HCI. Original here:
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=235
I have Slave Monger Dale do more to prod Amy into slavery. First when they are in the truck looking for the lost slave:
“You ever thought about being a slave, we open today and could have you on the block this afternoon?” Amy was speechless and her lack of response elicited a further prodding, “What about it, your already dressed for it? I bet your get a good price.” He looked her over with an experienced eye for quality slave flesh.
Amy was a little shocked at this suggestion out of the blue, “No, never, I work with horses and I love it, and that what I want to with my life.” She protested strongly because her recent experiences had made slavery less unattractive, but she didn’t want anyone to know that about her.
And then again at the end of the chapter when Dale sees Amy crying in her truck:
Dale saw her and came over to see if she had changed her mind. He quickly noticed she had been crying, “What’s wrong, is there anything I can do to help?”
“I’m sitting here naked; I didn’t even think of getting dressed again. I feel like my entire life has been turned upside down.”
“Did you want to back inside?”
Amy looked at the building and said slowly, “I don’t think so. But I don’t know if I can go home.”
“Did you want someone to make the choice for you?”
Amy thought about Dale collaring and cuffing her and returning her to HCI. “Why, is that why you came out here?” Amy almost expected Dale to show the instruments of her enslavement. He opened the door but had nothing with him. He took her hand and helped her out of the car, Amy thought he would take her back to HCI, but instead he gave her a big hug.
“It’s OK, this place is set up to process slaves, and it can make women slaves who never wanted it. I was told there is something called Sudden Enslavement Syndrome, I don’t understand it but a girl who goes through the enslavement process quickly can find herself conflicted between her previous free mind and her slave mind. Maybe that has happened to you?”
Amy looked at him, uncertain what to think, or do. “I’m completely confused, I’ve never been used like that. I should have resisted but I just let it happen.”
“Maybe you should let us process you, if you have this Sudden Enslavement thing maybe your mind is already converting to being a slave? Perhaps you need someone else to make your choices for you?”
Amy’s shoulder’s slumped, she didn’t know what to say. They stood there for minute, then Dale took her arm. “Come on maybe this is what you need.”
Walking towards slavery finally scared her into action. “No please, I know I’m confused, but I’m not ready for slavery. Please I want to go home and be normal again.”
Dale smiled, “Go home, it’ll take time, but you’ll get better. I’ve seen it before; a whole different world opens up and you can’t process it. Now get dressed and go home.” Amy took her clothes and dressed while Dale watched her, when she was finished, she gave Dale a kiss on the mouth and got in the truck. Finally, she drove away wondering what this would mean to her life.
Now Dale's diagnosis of Sudden Enslavement Syndrome is probably wrong. But what could a moderate to minor case of SES look like? Not everyone would react exactly the same. Could Amy have a minor case?
Right now I am looking at a re-write of the last part of Chapter/Part One when Mr. Davin brings a Magistrate to his ranch to assess if Amy has self-enslaved herself. Original here:
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=227
I am still working on it but I have made it more invasive and humiliating to Amy. After he leaves Amy passes out on the mattress in the barn loft and I am writing a sex scene with Mr. Davin, But I am not sure if I should make this real or a dream.
Of course I will probably have to make some more changes, especially in the beginning, of Chapter/Part Two
However there have been a moderate and a major change.
It started with Chapter/Part Two: Amy First Visit to HCI. Original here:
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=235
I have Slave Monger Dale do more to prod Amy into slavery. First when they are in the truck looking for the lost slave:
“You ever thought about being a slave, we open today and could have you on the block this afternoon?” Amy was speechless and her lack of response elicited a further prodding, “What about it, your already dressed for it? I bet your get a good price.” He looked her over with an experienced eye for quality slave flesh.
Amy was a little shocked at this suggestion out of the blue, “No, never, I work with horses and I love it, and that what I want to with my life.” She protested strongly because her recent experiences had made slavery less unattractive, but she didn’t want anyone to know that about her.
And then again at the end of the chapter when Dale sees Amy crying in her truck:
Dale saw her and came over to see if she had changed her mind. He quickly noticed she had been crying, “What’s wrong, is there anything I can do to help?”
“I’m sitting here naked; I didn’t even think of getting dressed again. I feel like my entire life has been turned upside down.”
“Did you want to back inside?”
Amy looked at the building and said slowly, “I don’t think so. But I don’t know if I can go home.”
“Did you want someone to make the choice for you?”
Amy thought about Dale collaring and cuffing her and returning her to HCI. “Why, is that why you came out here?” Amy almost expected Dale to show the instruments of her enslavement. He opened the door but had nothing with him. He took her hand and helped her out of the car, Amy thought he would take her back to HCI, but instead he gave her a big hug.
“It’s OK, this place is set up to process slaves, and it can make women slaves who never wanted it. I was told there is something called Sudden Enslavement Syndrome, I don’t understand it but a girl who goes through the enslavement process quickly can find herself conflicted between her previous free mind and her slave mind. Maybe that has happened to you?”
Amy looked at him, uncertain what to think, or do. “I’m completely confused, I’ve never been used like that. I should have resisted but I just let it happen.”
“Maybe you should let us process you, if you have this Sudden Enslavement thing maybe your mind is already converting to being a slave? Perhaps you need someone else to make your choices for you?”
Amy’s shoulder’s slumped, she didn’t know what to say. They stood there for minute, then Dale took her arm. “Come on maybe this is what you need.”
Walking towards slavery finally scared her into action. “No please, I know I’m confused, but I’m not ready for slavery. Please I want to go home and be normal again.”
Dale smiled, “Go home, it’ll take time, but you’ll get better. I’ve seen it before; a whole different world opens up and you can’t process it. Now get dressed and go home.” Amy took her clothes and dressed while Dale watched her, when she was finished, she gave Dale a kiss on the mouth and got in the truck. Finally, she drove away wondering what this would mean to her life.
Now Dale's diagnosis of Sudden Enslavement Syndrome is probably wrong. But what could a moderate to minor case of SES look like? Not everyone would react exactly the same. Could Amy have a minor case?
Right now I am looking at a re-write of the last part of Chapter/Part One when Mr. Davin brings a Magistrate to his ranch to assess if Amy has self-enslaved herself. Original here:
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=227
I am still working on it but I have made it more invasive and humiliating to Amy. After he leaves Amy passes out on the mattress in the barn loft and I am writing a sex scene with Mr. Davin, But I am not sure if I should make this real or a dream.
Of course I will probably have to make some more changes, especially in the beginning, of Chapter/Part Two