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The recent thread inspired this short on a taxing topic. Never piss off an accountant.

Saul's Revenge

By Joe Doe

“Geez, Saul, these taxes are killing me. First, they eliminated SALT, then they cut my deductions. Last week Rachel got drunk and wrecked my car. You’re my accountant. Isn’t there anything you can do for me?”

“Actually, I did have a suggestion that might help, a lot. Your daughter Rachel just turned 18, right?”

“Yeah, but I can still claim her as an exemption this year, right?”

“Sure, but that’s not my suggestion. As part of the last COVID bill, Congress passed the State & National Act For Taxpayer Cash Help, or SNATCH. The idea is that ordinary folks like you are strapped for cash right now, so they wanted to make it easier for families making less that $100K a year to turn their wives and daughters into ready cash. Right now, they’re offering you a tax credit for any slave training or slave grading you get, and it’s retroactive to last year. So if you spend $1,000 training Rachel, and getting her graded, you can reduce the amount you send Uncle Sam by $1,000. Pretty sweet, huh? The National Slaving Association sent a lot of slave pussy over to Congress to get that provision passed, ha-ha.”

“Okay, but I’m still out $1,000. I mean, Rachel’s a handful, and she’d probably benefit from a little slave training, but I don’t see how that helps me pay my mortgage.”

“Wait, it gets better. They’ve relaxed the barter rules, and it allows you to use your wife or daughter as slave girls to pay for goods and services, without having to declare any of the many they earn as income. So let’s say you get Rachel enslaved, or at least graded and trained. You can take her down to the oil change place with you, and they can fuck her, and you get a free oil change. They lube your car and your daughter at the same time, ha-ha. Or you can work out a deal with the car dealership, where Rachel works as a ho in the waiting room for everybody working for repairs, and in exchange you get money off a new car. Pretty sweet, to make her pay for the car she wrecked on her back, with her dainty little feet in the air.”

“That’s is a pretty sweet deal, Saul. But do you really think people will give me free shit, just for fucking Rachel?”

“Hell, yes. Your little girl has your ex-wife’s hot body, along with her attitude. When she opened the door, she looked at me, ‘You must be so bald and tubby from eating all those beans, bean counter.’ She’s got firm, perky tits, long blonde hair, and a sweet little ass. I bet she’s sweet and blonde all over. Geez, I’d love to see her naked and collared and sucking my dick, and I bet you every guy in town feels the same way. You told me she picks skanky boyfriends just to annoy you, right? Imagine if you decide who gets to fuck her, and you make money to boot, on her sweet little booty. You’ll never pay for a pizza again, my friend.”

“It sounds too good to be true, but I’m not sure Rachel will be all that excited about spreading her legs every time I want a beer.”

“Not a problem. If she got a DUI, you can sign her up for a protective enslavement order instead of paying a fine or going to jail. You can make it a sure thing by asking the clerk to reroute her case from traffic court to slave court. Whether Miss Hoity-toity likes it or not, it’s a done deal, my friend. I’m getting a boner just thinking about the collar snapping shut on her sweet little neck.”

“Sounds good. You know, I think Rachel picked me instead of her mom because she knew she could walk all over me. I ask her to put her dirty dishes in the sink and she tells me to fuck off, and that I’m the parent so I should so all the housework. She is costing me a fortune, and now the car, and she wants to go to college, too. I have no idea how I’m going to swing that.”

“Not a problem, my friend. As part of the SNATCH act, state universities get a big tax credit on working student pussy. They’ll wave her tuition and her room and board, if she works at least 16 hours a week in the University slave brothel. She’ll have to wear a special symbol on her shirt – the two interlocking boxes – to show that she’s available for use. After all, the University doesn’t want all those frat boys or horny professors to waste time flirting with her when they can just go down to the slave brothel and fuck her. It’s a little humiliating, but frankly I wouldn’t mind seeing your little Princess getting take down a peg or too. Yeah, she’ll be catcalled and guys will be grabbing her tits or slapping her ass every time she walks past ‘em, but I hear Professors grade girls easier after they fuck ‘em. If you do it, I know I’ll go “visit” her. You’ll have no shortage of work colleagues, drinking buddies, and neighbors who want to check in and see how your little girl is doing at school, ha-ha. Bottom line is, wouldn’t be nice to have her sluttiness make you money instead of costing you?”

“Wow, Saul, this is great stuff. Anything else?”

“Yeah. The best part is that if you get her graded and decide to sell her, you get a stepped-up basis. So there’s no capital gains tax on her sale, and it’s all pure profit. So when you get her graded, I’d at least get a few bids on her, or maybe put her in one of those new Any Chance Auctions at The Big D. Not only will it do worlds for her attitude, under the SNATCH Act it’s a smart tax move too.”

“Wow, this is great tax advice, Saul. How much do I owe you for all this?”

“Not a penny, my friend. We’ll work it out in trade. Oh, and if she asks you who came up with all these ideas, tell the little bitch that the fat, bald bean counter says hello.”

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Joe: Great start interesting topic. I hope you continue your last two stories, and maybe even some of your previous series. Thanks and keep up the good work. I'm checking with my accountant about saving on my taxes.

Hahaha! SNATCH. Love it!

The SNATCH act sure sounds great. No need to worry about student loans anymore! I could imagine that its not so easy to qualify for a full ride though—an applicant's slave grade would likely determine how much assistance they could receive. Those with poor slave grades could end up having to put in some long hours working in the cafeteria, cleaning classrooms, and/or maintaining the grounds all while being sexually available at the same time. Girls with a prime grade would have plenty of time to spend on their studies and therefore be more likely to succeed—just another reason for them to practice their slave yoga before graduation and do all they can to get the best slave grade. The valedictorian and the head cheerleader could end up in the same school due to their grades: 4.0 vs prime. After realizing that even with the scholarship she was offered the bookworm might have to ask the cheerleader to tutor her since she'd neglected to consider she might not get the full ride she needed just with her smarts. !! It could be the plot of a movie even. One of those highschool movies where after the girl takes off her glasses and gets a slight makeover suddenly everyone realizes she's super hot. A heartwarming tale where she learns that just because the cheerleader is a prime slut, doesn't mean she isn't smart with dreams and goals of her own—she just has a better understanding of what it will take to get what she wants. Damn now I wanna see that movie. After taking the former nerd in to get graded and receive her prime grade—unsurprisingly— she could then end up self indenturing in a private sale to the love interest for a gap year to help buy a car for school or something. In the end important life lessons would be learned. Produced by the National Slaving Association in order to spread the word on the new act—side characters would each have their own mini plot that mentions different things the act can do, like the girl who's family has fallen on hard times and is getting by thanks to SNATCH.

Saul is a great accountant and friend, helping out Rachel's dad like that. Really helping him out of the goodness of his heart! Mostly.

Great details adding to the world!

this story is so credible. I mean only an accountant could think this stuff up and weave it into an enjoyable short story. Well only an accountant or a brilliant creative writer like Joe Doe.

Hooked6

Hooked6, when are you gonna finish the Tracey's Halloween Costume story?

I was already in awe at the creativity and skill of Joe's writings. Now he has brought his massive abilities to bear on solving one of the biggest problems in the country--the 30 year deadlock in Congress. Everyone should get behind this bill--tax breaks and male chauvinism for the Republicans, cheap education and blue collar tax relief for the Democrats, a solution to youth unemployment, plentiful sex opportunities for old farts like me--what more could anyone want? Joe Doe for Congress!

Now that Joe has single handedly solved our tax problems I am waiting for him address the decades long stalemate regarding illegal immigration and the undocumented individuals residing in this country. The ball is in your court Joe as I wait with bated breath.

As an accountant and the father of a lazy teenage daughter, I find this to be very solid advice. Don't tell her that, let it be a surprise .

I imagine the SNATCH act would be fun for you. When your clients bitched about their taxes, you could look at the picture of their family on the wall, or note their dependents and say, "I see you have a very pretty wife, and two daughters in college. Did you know about the SNATCH act? It could really save you a bundle, Steve."

A few weeks later, you might have the pleasure of driving to the community college, to visit one of the girls you helped. "Hi, Jodi. I don't know if you remember me, but my name is Zee, and I'm the accountant who told your dad about the SNATCH act, and got your sweet little ass enrolled in the campus slave brothel. I did your dad taxes, and now I want you to spread your legs nice and wide, so I can do you, too."

It's unfair, of course, that male students don't get the same tax breaks, so the courts have expanded the SNATCH ruling so that sisters and even moms who aren't in school can fuck on their brother and son's behalf, if the college isn't interested in running a male brothel. I imagine it would be sweet revenge to visit some bitchy housewife who complained that your fees were too high, and that she was getting it up the ass, and show her what getting it up the ass really felt like.