Looking For Ideas

[automagix12]

I like the idea of introducing Dr Emily. There's a huge potential lingering in this character, IMHO.

[gary]

Lots of interesting ideas. thank you. Some of your ideas orflash64 work for parts of the story, but I have to admit I'm not always sure where the story goes once I start writing.
My biggest problem is the HCI story where Amy returns some lost cargo. So far Amy doesn't want anything to do with slavery. But that causes a problem. How does she go from returning cargo to getting naked? I have thought of a bunch of slaves all of a sudden being delivered and maybe in the chaos she gets knocked down and she recovers in one of the pens, but i don't know if it quite works. Another idea is that one of the lost cargo is a slave cage, but why would she get in it? If she found a slave in a slave cage she wouldn't be able to lift it and would have to open it to let her out. Then maybe she still take her to the HCI facility. But what does that lead too? I can certainly think of thing to happen to her once she's naked, but how does she end up naked? Remember she's not interested in slavery.
Amy is strong willed, and I have probably made her too weak. But maybe that is because she is confident at home, in the country, with her family and friends and working with horses, and this is a completely unfamiliar world she doesn't understand and can't get her bearings and so is confused.
I may have to think up a different plot.

[orflash64]

Gary, I know you would like Amy or any other of your Characters to get naked consensual in the story. But what if it wasn't exactly? So how about some gear didn't fall of the truck, but was delivered to the ranch by accident. Amy doesn't know for sure what to do with it.
The next a delivery of slave girls shows up just like the gear. Now Amy must look into it. Amy notices that it's her address but not her name on the invoice, an obvious mistake.
She goes with the driver with the slaves And the gear back to (wherever you decide on) to straighten it out. The invoice clerk looks it up and does some back checking to find the screw up.
While checking the clerk noticed the shipment is short one slave. The clerk trying to figure out what to do about it gets an idea as Amy is a little curious about how the gear works, asking various questions. Not because Amy is into to it but is shocked that people would do these things to other people.
While explaining the gear the clerk knocks out Amy with the gear the clerk is explaining. The reasoning being the clerk can log back in all the slaves including Amy, then release her later.
The clerk strips Amy then collars her, making a temporary file that the clerk can erase later. Amy wakes up naked, collared and devoiced and wondering what the he'll happened. After a time the clerk releases her and gives her clothes back. However, wanting to get away it the clerk knocks Amy out again, has her dressed and dropped off back at her ranch.
Amy not sure what is real for a bit goes about her business unsure if it was a dream. That is till what had happened to at the slave facility pops back up in her life sometime later. Amy is unsure what to do about it since she didn't exactly volunteer to do any of it, also she is unsure of what was real and what was a dream. Was she gang banged in a slave facility or did she dream it. The only thing she is sure about it is her pussy is shaved bare and her pubic hair doesn't seem to grow back now. There are no brands or slave tattoos on her body, that she can see. Although she hasn't checked inside her lip. And why do people keep asking about her slave ranking online? What did they do to her there? The story unravels like a mystery, one part at a time.

[orflash64]

There's a few misspellings due to autocorrect. From me. It wasn't how I wrote it.

[Hooked6]

I like this too. I'm picturing Ruzanna from Westbound teaching all of this to Frankie as part of a report she's doing on ponygirl racing. If gary doesn't use it I might in yet another story.

Dammit imreadonly2, you're killing me

Best news I've read today - another story in the works from Gentlemanmariner!

Hooked6

[GreyRose]

Your choice to have a heroine that is actively not interested in slavery will make for an interesting story challenge. I was thinking about this and came up with another story idea.

Amy is out in a far corner of her ranch and has a small accident. Her horse runs off and she has a few bumps and scrapes, when her horse ran off, it took her cell phone and her ID. Her men of the household are off at the other side of the ranch out of cell range and not expected back to the house for a few days. So she knows that no one will come looking when her horse returns without her.

As she is walking back home police pick her up and take her back to the slave store. She is confused until she gets back there and discovers that there were a truckload of women being sent to the slave depo/store in the town near her home. The women were judicial enslavement's and were being sent there for processing when the accident happened. None of the women had yet been chipped or marked, that was to be done when they arrived at the depo. This error in not marking the women earlier is why so many are being held as they determine who are the true slaves.

Once they have Amy at the police station, she finds that while there were only a half dozen or so women on the slave transport, the police had picked up every woman that matched their descriptions So there were 12 or more women at the station awaiting identification. As is the way with bureaucracies the more important the information the more time it takes to get it. The original files for identifying the women on the truck was lost in the accident and so the police have sent for copies of the documents.

In the mean time to avoid another instance of not being able to identify the missing slaves, all of the women in custody are chipped. Previously Amy had managed to avoid it as she had no interest in slavery. She was now chipped and her slave number reflects judicial enslavement. (this could lead to some issues later).

The women that were picked up that were free women have stories. One when she is cleared as not being one of the escaped slaves, is told that the bank is calling in her load and she is being enslaved as part of that. Another girl when her boyfriend shows up to identify her, is in a bad mood. Perhaps its early in the morning and he's hung over, or he had car problems and barely managed to make it there at all. When she yells at him for taking so long he blows his top and ends up selling her. One of the others decides to willingly sign herself over to be a slave. Perhaps one of the escaped slaves manages to leave taking the place of one of the free women.

The store wants to sell the women so try various methods to get them to agree that they are the missing slaves. Amy and the others are put through slave training (the excuse is that is their exercise). This starts the women down the slope of slave head space.

I hope this gives you some ideas for your story, or provides additional inspiration for it.

[gary]

Love the story idea, though i think being chipped at eighteen is all but mandatory and a good safety precaution, and Amy is chipped. Also the girls would be already naked, and Amy dressed, but that can be gotten around.

[gary]

Like to thank everyone for there ideas, but I think I'm on track. Now the HCI story is Amy's first close encounter with slavery. The next part is the visit to Big D's at the Calgary Stampede, but now she is accompanied with by her older (and good looking) sister. The last part is Amy getting a serious slavery experience. I mention the Pony Girl slightly but don't know if I'll use it. I had thought of using the the Westward idea of her riding in the back of the slave truck but decided against it. I just finished the HCI sub-plot and publishing the section here.

Amy was driving her grandfathers older style truck into Calgary and noticed some boxes and what looked like an animal cage on the side of the road. She stopped to have a look, and found that the three boxes and the cage had labels on them that they were to be delivered to a business called HCI. She found the name of the delivery service but just got put on hold. Realizing that this HCI was on her way to her destination in Calgary, she decided to put the boxes and cage in the back of the truck and bring them to the company.

When she arrived at the front door, the doors were locked. There was a phone number so she called and explained the situation. They told her to take to the rear delivery area, and that someone would be waiting for her. After driving to the back, she knocked on the door and it opened. “I got your lost cargo where do you want it?”

“Back your truck up the loading dock, and I’ll unload it.” Amy did just that and the cargo was quickly transferred. The clerk was looking at the cage and then asked Amy, “There was supposed to be a girl in here, I’m assuming your not her but did you see anyone around?” Amy said she hadn’t and he got on his phone, “Hey we have a 103 (loose slave) but have the cage. What ya wanna do?” After some talking back and forth, he asked Amy to come into the facility and talk to the manager.

The manager came with a device, “First I want to check your chip so I can say with certainty your not the escaped slave, company policy I’m afraid.” Amy was a little reluctant but agreed. She placed the chip reader against her left breast but got a squawk. “Its not reading well, there things have problems reading through some materials. Could you pull your top off please?” Amy said no to this so he replied, “Actually you should be naked anyways back here, it’s the law (not quite), had both of us have seen plenty of naked woman so please do it?” Amy reluctantly took off her top and she pressed it against her bare skin. “It reads you as a free woman, for now, where did you find our cargo?”

“I was going north on MacDonald Train SE.” Looking at the map on the woman’s pad, “I think I had just passed the Superstore, so it was around there.”

“Would you take Dale here, she might be hurt, or just trying to escape.” Amy agreed and drove him to the spot.

As they drove Dale asked, “You have any slaves?”

“No, granddad won’t even allow them on the ranch, except maybe in an emergency.”

“You ever though about being a slave, we open today and could have you on the block this afternoon?”

Amy was shocked, “No, never, I work with horses and I love it, and that what I want to with my life. Not some brainless slave.”

“Oh you love horses, there is a woman in the city, a horse physiologist, named Dr. Emily Ranger, you might want to talk to her.”

“Well give me her number and I’ll talk to her. Anyways here we are, I’m pretty sure this is where I found your stuff.” They parked on the side of the road and Amy looked around, “Yes I think this is the place and looked around for any other lost cargo, or a lost slave. Amy noticed a box a couple of hundred meters/yards away. He went to check it out and Amy took out a pair of binoculars and checked the surrounding area. When Dale came back, he was holding a broken box of slave collars, which he threw into the back of the truck. Amy then called to him, I think I might see your lost slave, it looks like a naked woman in the park there.”

They walked there and when they got close, the naked, uncollared slave, got jumpy. Amy used a soothing voice to calm her and they were able to approach her. He put her in cuffs which Amy said was excessive. Walking back to the truck they found the remains of the girl’s collar. It as in two pieces and Dale wondered if she ha taken broken the collar with a rock. They put the girl between them in the truck and drove back to HCI.

Once there, the manager checked her chip and verified she was the missing slave. She also reminded Amy she should be naked back here. “Look I’m going to be leaving right away so that would be a waste of time.”

Just then a truck pulled up to the loading dock, “OK our delivery is here let’s get the product to the stalls, we open in an hour and everything has gone wrong.” Complained the manager, a tall, curvy, dark haired woman of exotic beauty. She then walked past Amy who followed, hoping to get out of this place. The driver had already started releasing the slaves from their cages and two of them were arguing. When they got close to Amy, they started fighting and Amy was in the middle of it. Amy saw the manager rush in with what seemed looked like a gun, she hit one slave who went down, and then lunged at the other that was beside Amy, then he felt something against her shoulder and everything went dark.

When she awoke Amy was groggy, but slowly realized she was naked, collared, and was in one of the slave pens. She tried to stand up but was still too wobbly. Through her still cloudy vision she saw men and the occasional naked woman walking by. A couple seemed point to her and ask something of the a clerk or slave monger. Slowly Amy became fully aware of where she was and tried not to panic. She finally saw Dale, and called to him.

“Please what happened, I’m not a slave.”

“Don’t worry, we tried to tranquilize the ones fighting and got you instead. Don’t worry its all calmed down now.”

“What am I doing in here? Why am I naked, why do I have a collar on?”

“Well didn’t have anywhere else to put you, so put you here to sleep it off. Well you have to be naked to be back here, and especially in a pen. And the collar is regulations and for your protection. Look your not ready to drive, probably another half hour or more. Just relax, you’ll be out of her before you know it.”

Amy was still a bit out of it and laid down. Later a slave monger came in and ordered her to get up. Amy got up slowly and he yelled, “Get up slave.” But Amy was too fatigued to argue. He brought her to an elevated stage and had her get up on it.

The manager came in, “Do you like our auction block, it hasn’t been used yet. Would you like to be the first?” Amy looked around confused, and saw people were starting to come close to her.

“What, what’s going on?”

“Well your auction of course. Now turn around.” Amy did so, but didn’t know why. “Now show the goods” Amy had no idea what she meant and turned around facing the people looking at her.

“Isn’t this a fine figure of a girl, one you’d love to take home with you.”

At this Amy became fully awake, “Wait, no, I’m not a slave you can’t sell me.”

“Are you sure?”

“YES, I have my own life, please let me go!”

“Well it was worth a try.” And motioned the slave monger to bring her over to the desk.

“Now are you sure? It’s a wonderful chance.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Now please let me go.”

At that the woman pressed the chip reader to Amy’s breast and announced. “OK, we had you on ‘hold’ and now releasing you. Now sometimes it gets stuck in the system but don’t worry, it will get cleared up with a phone call.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well it’ll only happen when you enter a slave store, and not always. They will get a ‘HCI Hold” alert and hold you for a half hour while they clear up your status. Don’t worry it’s a minor inconvenience.” Amy didn’t think it sounded like a minor inconvenience but let it drop. She got dressed, actually rather slowly though and was about to leave when the manager called out. Aren’t you forgetting something?” Amy looked back at her quizzically, “Your collar, or have you changed your mind?”

Shakily Amy responded, “No.” and moved close so she could unlock it. Once it was off the manager offered a free new collar, but Amy politely declined. “Which is the best way out of here to my truck.”

“Well that would be through the slave pens, but you know the rules.”

“Ya, I do.” And she quickly undressed again and walked back through the slave pens, to a few cat calls from the slave who though she was one of them.

“Thought your going to be sold sister?” “Are they returning you to the training center?” “Come back and join us sister.” But Amy kept on walking until she was outside and again redressed herself. She got in the truck and cried tears of fear and anxiety. Finally she drove away wondering what this would mean to her life.

[orflash64]

So this is the rough draft because there a few spelling errors. Particularly he instead of she when Amy is knocked out. Will it be longer as well with more detail?

[jeepster]

Like the idea! And yeah i am assuming this was a rough draft! But can't wait for the whole story of Amy!

[gary]

Well I just finished it before uploading it so its a rought draft. Probably won't change it fundamentally, unless I get a inspiration.

[GreyRose]

I like the way this played out, nice first draft. I can see a number of places where it needs smoothing out but expect that to be handled in the revised version.

I like how you handled Amy's reluctance to the idea of slavery yet she still got pulled into events at the store.

Something the store could do is offer a free slave grading as a reward for returning the lost goods and for helping to find the missing slave girl. Even though she refuses it, they leave that she's registered for a slave grading on her account just in case she's ever interested in getting one done. Along with the possible issue with her status as an "HCI hold", this could lead to some additional interesting events.

[gary]

Have decided on a tweak to the story, The manager gets Amy to fully address after checking her chip, and put a collar on her. Its supposed to be a visitor collar but its a real one since the visitor collar hasn't been delivered yet. The manager then convinces Amy to help find the lost slave as she is (naked and collared) to better get the slave to go with them. The rest of the story still mostly goes as written , for now.

[orflash64]

I like this new twist. Maybe on the way out they are low on gas and have to make a stop. Many possibilities, Amy is made to pump the gas as the driver goes on to pay, Amy goes to the restroom and something happens just before or just after her visit there. Like what she has to do to get the key. Or there is a hole in the wall next to the men's room, and Amy is expected to service or there will be trouble.
Afterwards when Amy has been released from the collar and has her clothes back, she stops at that has station again a few days later and is recognized. The attendant has video recording, blackmail ensues, and he doesn't want money.

[GreyRose]

I agree the twist is a great idea. However it leads me to ask some questions.

Is it legal for slaves to drive? If Amy is driving will a Mountie want to pull them over? If Dale is driving, do they take her truck or is there an HCI vehicle?

When they are searching for the missing slave girl, the fact that the collar had been removed bothered me. Are they really that fragile that a slave can just find some rocks and break them? Since a box of slave collars was found is it possible that Dale kept one? That way he would have had one to put on the slave once they recaptured her.

Once they had recovered the slave girl Dale cuffed her. If this is procedure would he also have cuffed Amy? Might he have leashed the two girls together? If he is falling back on procedure by cuffing the girls might he also fall back on this type of procedure as well? Slaves that are leashed together are much easier to control.

[gary]

I did change it so that they take, the clerk Dale's, truck.
I think slaves would be able to drive, to a point. Their owners might not be able to drive, slave workers on farms would probably need to drive trucks and machinery. And of course Amy isn't a slave, but looks like one.
To tell the truth, I didn't really think about the collar being broken so easily. Though it could be, wherever they are getting the slaves from, chose cheap plastic collars to save money. Maybe it was the delivery service, given that they were so ineffectual as to have such poor drivers that the rear door wasn't secured properly, leading to the loss of the cargo.
I did have Amy collared with a standard steel collar, because they didn't have any "Visitor' collars. So the box Dale retrieves might be those missing collars.
I didn't think of Dale leashing Amy and the slave together, thought because Amy is still free, he might not want, or be able to do that. But its something to think about.

On another subject, I have just thought that with so much slave nudity on the streets and media, maybe people become blase' about nudity, even their own. Now people still go around clothed, but if asked to be nude they don't get upset. Thus women will visit slave pens nude.
Now there is another, maybe more probable reaction to slave nudity, and that is to wear more concealing clothes, more like Muslim women. One of the reasons middle and upper class women's clothes became so bulky and elaborate in the late 19th and early 20th Centuries, was to show that they didn't have to work for a living.
But maybe popular culture, and the slave industry, would want women to be comfortable nude.

[GreyRose]

On my question about Dale leashing Amy & the recovered slave together, is that there is knowing something and then there's reacting out of habit. Because Amy is naked he might start treating her as a slave. Since you now have them in an HCI company truck, he might be conscious of public appearances.

A funny thought hit me, if those collars in the box they found are the visitor collars and the slave did manage to loose hers he would put a visitor collar on the real slave with Amy the free woman wearing the slave collar. If they are left standing alone at the store while Dale goes to get the manager, the juxtaposition of the two wearing the collars could be interesting. Might the slave try to convince someone that she's really a free visitor & Amy the real slave? Maybe she try's to get away before Dale, who knows the truth, returns?

On the subject of public nudity, yes with slaves its acceptable but free women might tend to wearing more clothes or extra layers as a sign/symbol that they are free. And be extra sensitive to losing their clothing since that is a status symbol. Like all things where there are multiple points of view there are always multiple answers. One thought could be that women the wear light or easily removed clothing get the reputation of being 'slave sleazy'.

I'm looking forward to how you develop the story. It's looking to be an interesting tale.

[orflash64]

Gary, in answer to how easily the collar was broken, how about the gear that fell if the truck had slave collar keys, as they are shipped with the collars. The slave got hold of one and released herself. That way it shows how durable the collars actually are and hard to get off unless released by those in charge.
I like the idea of Any going back out to the area to look for the slave, naked and collared in the company truck. Anyone seeing Any would assume she is a slave. The reason being her clothes and other belongings are locked up including her truck keys and the person that locked them stepped out and nobody knows which locker it was in.
Also the idea that Amy could help draw out the slave looking like a slave, as well.
Once they have her they head back, but a cop stops them and reminds about regulations and Amy and the slave both need to cuffed and shackled together. Some cops like to enjoy the perks of law enforcement and partake in the use of slaves. Amy is shackled right next to the slave and has a close up view to the action. Amy is shocked at the treatment but also a little aroused and wet witnessing it. The clerk noticed it and uses Amy as a slave. Amy's view of slavery has altered after this, as it was the best orgasm she has experienced.

[orflash64]

Autocorrect keeps changing Amy to any, despite how many times I correct it.

[imreadonly2]

gentlemanmariner said:
I was considering adding to my story of Big D's they have a "Amateur Miss Sandy Foot" where free women can have a nude picture that looks like the front of the Sandy Foot magazine. Then they publish all the pictures either online or in a special Sandy Foot edition. Maybe for a bit more they can redo the cover of Sandy Foot with the customers picture instead as a one off (or maybe more).

Beverly Richardson decides to give her husband a gift of herself as a SANDY FOOT GIRL and goes to the slave mall attached to The Big D. She dresses quite smartly, so if she sees anyone she recognizes she can claim she's there to do some tax work for her firm.

At the photography store she's taken to a locker room, where an amused, gum-popping female store clerk takes Beverly into the back into a small locker room, where she watches Beverly strip to the buff. The clerk locks all of Beverly's things into a locker with a padlock, then pops a tag onto her ear (like a real Sandy Foot girl) and collars Beverly before taking her into the studio for her session.

Beverly is embarrassed to find out that the photographer is someone her college aged son went to High School with, and that he very much remembers Beverly as a MILF. Beverly doesn't want to masturbate herself to get slave hot for the photographs, but after a few flicks of the slave whip across her naked rump he soon has "Beaver", his new slave bitch, rolling around on the auction block like a frisky puppy.

Her husband LOVES the photographs, and Beverly blushes crimson when he asks her what they used to make the cum all over her lips and face look so real!

[dtrelsky]

So my Heartland/Amy story has now completely changed from my original.
There are five sections so far.
Introduction - which I posed part of already.
HCI - More or less finished and this is now Amy's first close up view of slavery, I didn't want this to be to severe so as not to scare her off. Unless I can think of a earlier interaction with slaves.
Bid D's - This has changed from only Amy to Amy and her older sister Lou. Work in progress
Pony Girl / Dr. Emily Ranger from an idea by imreadonly2. Dr. Ranger gets Amy to visit a pony girl training ranch and slowly she gets Amy to do more and more pony girl training. This is what I am currently working on.
Master McTavish - Right now the last major story. Amy comes to help a horse, gets pushed into a horse paddy (#2) and end up naked while his slave cleans her clothes. On thing leads to another and Amy becomes a part time slave to him, and receives slave training and a professional slave grading. Work in progress

I have two fragments of part of Bid D's visit that I have abandoned for now, parts may appear in the finished draft:

In this version Amy is by herself and has just picked up a copy of Sandy Foot magazine.

He put his big arms around her shoulder. “Hows about you’d like to be auctioned and be the next Miss Sandy Foot?”

Amy sputtered, “No thank you.”

“Your purtee enough to be her. Why don’t you come with me and we can talk?” He brought her over to a service desk. “First let me get me a read your chip, be a sport and push down the straps of your top so I can get a better read.” Without thinking Amy did, being confused about what was happening so quickly. “Well, well, I see you haven’t even been graded, well you’ll have to be before your auction.” Amy was at a loss for words, and was becoming disoriented. “OK I have your enslavement authorization all ready on my pad.” He then guided her into the back, “Now take off your clothes and I’ll put your collar on you.” When he noticed she was still dressed he put the collar on her and pulled down her halter top and bra and then her blue jeans. “Now sign here and you’ll be on the block by later today.”

Amy finally got her wits about her and responded, “No, please stop, I don’t want to be a slave.” And she started puling up her clothes.

“Look your all ready to be graded and sold, you can’t back out now. Why don’t you take a seat and think on it.” And he led her over to a bench where she noticed two other women were sitting. He locked her collar to a chain and left with her clothes.

The older one, thirtyish, nice looking with small B cup breasts talked to her, “He’s a smooth one, isn’t he? I just came for the fair and now look at me. But your going to fetch top price.”

Amy’s head was clearing, “No, I’m not going to be auctioned, I didn’t sign anything.”

“Well mistakes are made girl.”

As soon as the man had come back, now with another girl. Amy firmly said, “I don’t want to be a slave, let me go!” He tried to convince her to stay and be sold but Amy stood firm. He finally gave in and took off the collar and gave her back her clothes.

He then handed her some papers; it was her enslavement contract with nude pictures of her. “If you want to change your mind, just sign the papers anytime.” Amy stuffed them into a Big D’s shopping bag and walked away.

In this version, Amy is with her sister Lou asks a question of the clerk. I originally put this before they go into the slave pens, but i think its too aggressive and a version of this will be put after.

“Excuse me, I was wondering about gift for couples and business associates?”

“Come ov’air and I’ll show ya some of the good stuff.” She led them to a section of steel collars. “These real popular with owners and couples, they have control boxes and can give pain or pleasure.”

“Do they automatically lock?”

“Nope, gotta do that separate, Just have ta push this button here to open it.”

“Can I try it on?”

“Lou what are you thinking?” exclaimed Amy.

“Its just a bit of fun.” Then she turned to the clerk, “Can you help me put it on?”

“Well ya gotta do it properly, slip off your dress and sandals and kneel.” In her suggestive state Lou slipped off her dress to Amy astonishment, and then kneeled. The clerk then placed it on her neck and declared, “I’ll lock it too to give you the total experience.” And to Lou’s stunned reaction, she took out a key and lock it. “Now stand up slave girl.”

“I didn’t ask you to lock it.”

“Oh, don’t worry slave, your fine. Let’s try the lowest punishment level.” And she pushed a button which Lou let out a shout of surprise and pain.

“Are you OK, Lou?” and she nodded yes.

“But here the kicker, here is the pleasure setting.” And Lou let out a moan. “Had enough slave girl.” She put it up higher and higher till Slave Lou was on her knees again.

Amy intervened, “Please stop calling her a slave, and get this collar off her.”

“Well only if she wants to.”

After a few moments Lou was able to get up. “It’s outstanding Amy you should try it, and I’m going to buy a couple as business gifts.”

The clerk looked at Amy, “Would you like to try it darlin.” Amy said no but the clerk persisted, “You saw how much your sister loved the pleasure settings. Now be a dear and do like your sister.” And without warning she slid off Amy’s dress off her shoulders, as well as sliding the bra off her shoulders, then pushing her to her knees. Quickly she placed the collar on her as Amy was trying to get her bra back up.

“I said I didn’t want to try it.”

“Bad slave.” and the clerk pressed the punishment button on both remotes. Both girls gave out a yell and the clerk ordered. “Now take your clothes off like a good girl.” And Amy obeyed. “Good girl.” And she pressed the pleasure buttons, which sent waves of pleasure through both slaves. She then chained the two girls together and attached another one to Lou, and ordered them to follow her.

This does give some idea of where I'm going with this sub-plot, though might make it less aggressive.

[gary]

I had been thinking that Amy might get mail from HCI, and maybe both her and her sister getting mail from Big D's. Not sure what to do with the idea, and don't want it to be too violent or embarrassing. Just a vague thought for now

[GreyRose]

Gary, I like that your story is getting longer and more in depth. I'm really looking forward to the finished product.

As a suggestion on the 2nd segment above where Lou & Amy are checking out the collars, avoid the pain demo. Mention it and focus on the pleasure settings. Are these collars sensitive enough to tell the difference between a slave kneeling or standing? You might have the clerk get Lou on her knees and do something like spread her legs and reward Lou for being a good slave. If the collars are able to sense if a slave stands up, she might tell Lou to be a good girl and remain kneeling or she will be punished as a bad slave. Then leaving Lou on her knees tries to get a collar on Amy. Its only if Lou tries to stand without permission that she gets a taste of the punishment mode, and if she returns to her kneeling position quickly enough its just a minor jolt not even the full level one punishment setting.

Instead of the clerk going for the punishment option, its Lou enjoying the pleasure setting that gets Amy into a collar. Perhaps the clerk promises a higher level pleasure setting on Lou's collar if she can convince Amy to allow the clerk to put a collar on her. During this the clerk allows Lou to stand and uses Lou to help her help get Amy into a collar.

[gary]

Considering that high level collars already can do so much: GPS tracking, giving pleasure and pain. Giving them even more functions might be overdoing it, pretty soon they could do anything.
Of course all the clerk has to do is push a button to punish her.
But could there be another way to do it? A wire is pulled out and attached to a hook that punished Lou if she tries to move or struggle? Lou is cuffed in back and the wire is attached to the cuffs? Her legs are cuffed and the wire attached to them?

[orflash64]

Gary, are you going for Amy submissly let herself be collared, a moment of confusion and they collar her, or they mistakenly think she is a slave while undressed and they just collar her, they don't care what she has to say?
If she has no interest in slavery and gets collared anyway, she is forced to briefly experience the situation. Afterwards she has to confront what she experienced now that has happened.